Bie, its hurt so bad. sakit amat. amat. dah tak mampu nak senyum macam orang normal. whole day..dreaming. fikiran merewang rewang. tak tahu ape yang datang menyerang. rasa sakit sangat kat dada, tak bole bernafas. rasa amat bodoh, rasa lemah. rasa tak berguna. i hate people around me. takde sorang pun salah. just kebodohan keegoan aku. so i deserve for it. tak mampu nak bernafas dikalangan orang normal. tak mampu dengar conversation diorang dengan family diorang. bie, sampai bila nak hidup keep pretending gini. setiap malam tidur tak pernah tenang and lena. mama keep haunting me. ice keep disturbed my heart. even dia tak pernah muncul tapi hati nie tak pernah tenang. ice and mama bergilir ganggu tido aku. rasa tak mampu. untuk satu hari je. sehari je aku harap aku mampu hidup bahagia tanpa benda benda pelik datang ganggu fikiran aku.

maybe ABC, thats why angin monsun datang melanda. maybe. alot of probability. everyday.. i through my life so colourful with lisa, C, and bic tapi bila balik bilik, something akan datang merewang rewang in my mind. then solution : tido mati like hell. no one came to disturb me. im free. then terjaga pukul berapa entah. my normal.habit.

everyone keep repeating the same words to me." u chose ur life to be this way. u chose hell so?" just bie je iya kan even aku salah. aku tau she love me too much. maybe. she my everything. bie, please find me a way to escape. a medicine to forget everything. it hurt so bad bie.!!