im not okay....!!



who am i? of course i know everything about me... every single things... tapi kekadang....keliru..who am i?
kenapa outer aku sangat ok? kenapa outer aku amat bahagia? tapi inner?

tadi sila datang bilik lepas keluar pergi jusco.. and she saw my new books.... crazy things girls do for love.. and... ape yang dia gelak sampai aku rasa..what the............... she saw something so ridiculous in elynn world....a book~~ chicken soup...edition of true love....:((
hahaha...a girl who hate love dovey.. tapi baca chicken soup...lagi kelakar memcecah para beku kerak bumi... "true love".
lucu ke? who am i?  i hate novel..telenovela... i hate something sweet... tapi kenapa aku baca true love? dont know....
tapi bila baca this edition...so sakit...pain...suffer... coz all of them..have happy ending... yup..of coz happily even after.
i like my old edition... chicken soup for teen soul. broken heart.family.relationship.friendship.....small stuff.... i like it sooo much. tapi well, bie cakap true love n happily even after best. so just bought it.
pernah tak baca buku...then rasa amat jealous? normal eik?

sila, dont laugh at me... u...all of u...dont know who i am... i just a fragile one. believe in love. wait for someone.  i just a ordinary girl. but in limited edition.. hahaha... almost people aroud me said i so pelik?
pelik? ape yang pelik? pelik coz i live my life so...meaningless... pagi smpai ke malam..malam sampai ke pagi... berchinta dengan lappy.. dengan freecell + solitaire... orang lain bizi aku still steady.
orang lain gila buku..aku still berselimut 18jam non stop.
ermm... i have no clue who am i?

tapi... confem gerenti... tak akan ada yang faham liver aku.
outer? me = simple + selekeh + nonchalant + happygolucky + have no problem + laugh + smile 24 hours...hate boys ( love dovey things)
inside me? = dont know...so fragile + pemberontak + parti pembangkang in family + ego +  live my life with full of regret + hoping....always..there's time machine + pain + hurt + lonely + dull + empty + always waiting for------___

bahagia? entah ape itu bahagia...now? entah....aku ngah bazir kan masa muda aku ke? entah..
erm.... cepat siap kan report english for advanced.. sudah mngantuk... esok steel+contract+estimation class.. so gudnite.

hari nie semalam..n maybe sepanjang mnggu nie... amat2 rindu dia... well.. aku gilak!

lupa...........semalam aku mimpi mama.. kami gaduh... then i text her.. she looked like so truja happy maut i text her.. haha.. nampak sangat anak tak berguna..? ye ke? i dont hate u mum...just jauh hati... u know me right? ego terlalu tinggi... i love u... but not much as before. sorry...
miss ur hug mum... maaf, elynn x pinta hati keras sebegini.