impossible?

that's too much and impossible?
i just wish u remember my birthday, and hope a little thought like " hey, ell...happy birthday". nothing more. i guess my wish'll never ever come true. he will never ever remember anything about me?

im aged. dah lama tinggal dunia remaja. and say hi hi pada dunia dewasa. rasa macam baru je celebrate birthday tahun lepas. cepat nya masa berlalu tanpa sedar. i wasting my time here. stuck here. i keep pretending and act cool. ingat balik ape wishes aku tahun lepas? takde satu pun termakbul.
abah, ell dah dewasa. abah taknak tengok ell besar? taknak tengok ell pakai jubah hari convo? please wake up abah. i need u now. sangat perlukan abah. yup abang jaga me, abang cuba bagi terbaik. i know it. tapi u the best abah. ell nak hadiah abah? bole? just hope u'll hug me and acknowledge me as ur daughter the best daughter. please keluar dari dunia tu abah. bole? dah lebih tiga tahun abah idup dalam dunia abah. and dah lebih tiga tahun me..abnormal. sorry abah. bie cakap abah mesti upset gila if abah tau elynn hidup macam nie? so please come back. im begging u please. dont forget about me abah. elynn janji abah bukak je mata and sedar kembali, i'll behave. ikut semua cakap abah. i wont protess or bangkang sesiapa dah. ell janji.
elynn jeles amat2 tengok lisa and daddy dia. why? cause their chemistry..relationship, just like us before. abah, why i cant spill it out? kenapa? kenapa i keep pretend ok and cool? u love me right? always love me? even im spoiled little brat?

i never appreciate u before abah, then i lost u. i never appreciate ain.. then i lost her. i never appreciate anas.. then he really leaves me. i never admit and told ice the truth and i lost him forever. i never ever appreciate everyone? and i lost mama. i hate her whole of my heart.
im okay. still breathing but there's a void in me, i cant get in touch with them, whom i love the most.

ape pun, im glad. i have them.. diorang still love me even tak abes2 mnyusahkan diorang
adik, ca, abe, bie, farah, p.pah and elisa. u light up my life.