should i be just a normal girl? behave? should i? just love everyone around me and stop hurting them. stop hurt urself? should i?

i tried. yes i tried before, but i cant. i cant just love mama like before. i cant move on. i cant stop silly stupid things cross in my mind.. i cant. i just..helpless..

tak bole stop pikir bukan bukan. tak bole try jadi positive like bie suruh. tak bole!!
kenapa tak bole? cause tak paksa diri... kenapa nak hidup dalam gelap sedangkan bole light on.. kena nak switch off hapiness button while u can turn it on? why?